Men’s Mental Health: Loneliness in Men
Men’s Mental Health
Loneliness in men has become an epidemic.
Read what Jermaine Morrison (therapist at Francis Psychotherapy has to say about men’s loneliness and what it has to do with their mental health.
Nearly half of Canadian men are at risk of social isolation. For men living alone, that number jumps to over 70%. And yet, the conversation about men and loneliness is one that rarely gets started, let alone finished.
This week, our very own Jermaine Morrison, Registered Social Worker and Psychotherapist at Francis Psychotherapy, sat down with Breakfast Television to have exactly that conversation. What came out of it was honest, thought-provoking, and deeply important. Here, we are expanding on those insights because this topic deserves more than a five-minute segment.
Men Can Be Surrounded by People and Still Feel Completely Alone
One of the most striking things Jermaine raised is that loneliness in men does not always look the way we expect it to. It is not always the image of someone sitting alone in a dark apartment. Sometimes, it looks like a successful professional surrounded by colleagues, a husband at a dinner table with his family, a man who has, on the surface, everything going well.
So what is driving this disconnect? According to Jermaine, it often comes down to how men have been conditioned to understand their own value. Men report feeling valued only for what they produce, rather than for their character or their humanity.
When your sense of worth is tied entirely to output and achievement, you spend your energy climbing, producing, and performing. Connection becomes a casualty. And when life eventually gets hard, as it always does, there is no one to lean on, because you have spent years being the one that everyone else leans on.
The Friendship Recession Is Real, and Men Are Feeling It
Jermaine introduced a term that stopped us in our tracks: the friendship recession. It refers to the steady decline in the number of meaningful friendships a person has over time, and men are disproportionately affected.
Part of this is structural. Men are often working long hours, sometimes multiple jobs, leaving little time or energy to invest in friendships. But there is another layer that does not get talked about enough: men, on average, tend to form their deepest connections later in life than women do. Where many women can point to friendships going back to elementary school, men often do not experience real bonding until high school or even college. That is a shorter runway to build on.
And then life happens. Careers get demanding. Routines solidify. Social muscles, if they were not built early, are harder to develop later. This is especially true for widowers, men who lose a spouse and discover that many of their social connections were rooted in that relationship, or were more transactional than they realized.
Batman and the Mask of Masculinity
Leave it to Jermaine to bring Batman into a conversation about men's mental health, and make it work brilliantly.
Think about why Batman is celebrated. He is productive. He is wealthy. He has no superpowers, and yet he is strong, tough, and charismatic. These are the very qualities that traditional masculinity holds up as ideals. But look underneath the surface of that character, and you find someone who is deeply controlling, allergic to vulnerability, and emotionally isolated.
That is not a coincidence. That is a mirror.
From the time many men are boys, they receive the message that vulnerability is weakness. That crying is not allowed. That feelings should be tucked away. And even when those messages start to shift, even when men are told it is okay to open up, that permission often comes with a catch. Feelings get dismissed. Vulnerability gets met with laughter or discomfort. Men learn quickly that being open carries risk.
This is why safe spaces are not just a buzzword. They are a genuine need. Men need environments where they can speak without being penalized for it.
What Healthy Male Connection Actually Looks Like
So what is the path forward? Jermaine was clear that building genuine male friendships is possible, but it requires intentionality. Healthy connection among men is rooted in a few key things:
Empathy: Being willing to truly hear another person without rushing to fix or minimize what they are sharing.
Safety:Creating and seeking out spaces where you feel free to talk about what you are going through without fear of judgment.
Being valued for who you are:Not for what you earn, produce, or provide, but for your character and your humanity.
Accountability: Understanding your feelings is important, but so is recognizing how your behavior impacts the people around you. Healthy friendships hold space for both growth and grace.
And it starts simply. Check in on the men in your life. Ask how they are doing and actually wait for the answer. Create space for real conversation, not just updates about work and weekend plans.
You Do Not Have to Figure This Out Alone
If any part of this resonated with you, whether you are a man navigating loneliness or someone who cares about one, know that support exists. Therapy is one avenue, and our team at Francis Psychotherapy is here for that. But if therapy is not accessible right now, there are also community resources worth knowing about:
Iron Sharpens Iron: A men's group that meets monthly and provides a space for connection and growth.
Black Daddy's Club (founded by Brandon Hay): A powerful community supporting Black fathers and men.
If you are in need of therapy support for yourself or a man/boy that you know we provide support to individuals living in Ontario.
Please contact us today for a therapy consultation.
